I'm Still Here
by terraNOVELLA
Summary: Companion to The PET III: Chapter 5. It was misfortune; time and unforeseen circumstance took Hub Hikari away from his family. Away from their world. But somehow he was back. Now what?


I'm Still Here

"Well this has been the most interesting day I've experienced in quite a while." Lan chucked to himself as he collapsed back first onto his bed; he was thoroughly exhausted but he was happy.

"Really?" Mega asked as he took in his operators room, Lan having activated the materialization program before they came home; it was a mess as always. Maybe now that could physically interact with Lan instead of nag him from behind a screen he could finally get him to keep his room clean, but that was probably just a dream. "This tops crossfusion for you?"

Lan sat up resting on his forearms. "Are you kidding?" Waking up to find that we can exist in the same space? Yeah, no contest. Last time this happened was when my Dad was experimenting with his dimensional core. Ended way to quickly. Makes me almost miss that life virus."

"Maybe, but are you sure it's for the best?"

Confusion crossed Lan's face, "What do you mean?"

Mega sighed, "I mean this," he said gesturing to himself; calling attention to his current casual attire.

Lan's eyes shifted a bit, alternating between giving Mega a once over and looking off into space; back into his own memories. "I like it."

Mega gave the boy a sad smile. "And I think that's the problem, or rather it could become a problem."

"It won't be."

"Lan, you called me Hub this morning."

Lan scoffed, "And that concerns you why?" he asked. "You do realize you woke me up. In person. Physically. The only other person who's ever called this place home who had green eyes before you was Hub. That's what I saw when I woke up."

"It's not just my eye color and you know it. Your mom even said so. I look like what Hub would have. I know what he means to you. And as amazing as this program is utilizing it like this may not be in your best interest, or your family's."

"You can't help that you look like him."

"Yeah, that may be," Mega admitted as he took Lan's PET off his bed disengaging the fashion chips; it was strange to be able to hold it, "but I don't have to look exactly like him."

Instantaneous disappointment came over Lan. "You didn't have to do that."

"I think I did, for now anyway. I don't want you to end up resenting me for something that neither of us has any control over."

"That's crazy. Why would I resent you? You're my best friend."

"Exactly. I am your best friend but I'm also your netnavi who just happens to look like your twin brother who passed away. As close as we are I'm not him; he's not here anymore. I'm sorry I never got the chance to meet him; but I don't want you to wake up one day and feel as if you've betrayed Hub because you think you allowed me take his place. You tell me all the time how much I remind you of him; now I can look like him even more? That may just be one step too far."

Lan shook his head in protest. "Come on, Hu-" he started as he caught himself; "Mega-" but he didn't get any further, the sad look on Mega's face stopped him in his tracks. To some extent the navi had proven his point.

"I think it's best you sleep on it. Goodnight Lan." Mega said as he disappeared in a pixel shower before downloading himself into Lan's PC just outside of the monitors range. He watched as Lan refused to move, this was a game of sorts the two often played when they had a disagreement. They would both try to wait each other out; Mega would stay out of view in either his PET or Lan's computer and Lan would stare at the screen knowing full well Mega was watching him.

But tonight the contest didn't last very long. It had been a long day and Lan just didn't have it in him. When the boy fell into bed this time it was face first and he turned his back to the computer screen effectively conceding defeat. It wasn't long before his body relaxed signaling that he had fallen asleep.

When Mega heard his operators first soft snores he reactivated the materialization program, fashion chips and all, taking the time to really note his reflection in Lan's mirror before he turned out the light and walked out of the door closing it softly behind him. It was so odd being in the house outside of the network and it took him a moment to get his bearings and to remember how to get where he wanted to go. When he got there the door was closed but the light that shown from underneath was a sign of occupation. He knocked lightly.

Dr. Hikari leaned back in his chair when he heard the sound. He may have been in his office with the door closed but no one in the house ever knocked. "Hello?"

Mega sighed heavily, "Dad it's me."

"Hub?" the father asked, immediately opening the door without hesitation only to be met with his son's confused face in response.

"That was taking quite a chance wasn't it?" Mega asked as he stepped around his dad; the man smiled.

"The two of you may be twins but I've always been able to tell the difference between your brother and you, even from behind a closed door."

Dr. Hikari watched the teen as he walked around the room for a bit; this program was simply amazing. "Have you seen your mother yet?"

Mega continued looking around the office before he answered, taking in the photographs on the wall. Some were of his parents before they were married with a few wedding pics here and there. Then there were the ones that showcased a nuclear family. A father, mother and two twin boys; himself and Lan. They continued that way; pictures of them all together, pictures of Lan and him together, and pictures of themselves individually. That was until his photographs stopped, after that it was just Lan. Lan at seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Lan by himself, and Lan with their parents.

"I saw her this morning," he said finally. "She hugged me, but of course Lan was there so she had to comment on how much I looked like Hub if he were still here."

The scientist sighed. "Son, you know I don't like it when you refer to yourself in the third person."

Mega chuckled, a bit of darkness to it. Most of the time he was the picture of obedience, he did what he was told; he was a good netnavi, he did his job and he looked after his brother. But living a lie was hard. He wasn't just a netnavi, he was Hub Hikari too. Only Dr. Hikari didn't want that fact known to Lan; not yet. So that left Mega living only as Megaman EXE and that strained his relationship with his father from time to time; just like today. "I've lived my entire life for the past eight years in the third person. Am I to assume that despite these exigent circumstances we're still on your schedule?"

"It's only one more year Hub. You can't tell him."

"Are you kidding me?! After all Lan's been through? World Three, Grave, Nebula, me being deleted, nearly getting turned by a dark chip; you still want to wait? Even with this?" He asked noting his human appearance. "I look like...me. Lan's not an idiot. I honestly don't believe you have another year. All day today when I looked like this all Lan could see was Hub. He couldn't even keep my name straight. I didn't correct him but he called me Hub instead of Mega more than once when we were alone. Lan may not be consciously aware of the truth but his subconscious is getting him there just fine. I don't want to get caught still lying to him."

Yuichiro stood his ground; this was an old argument. "Your mother and I decided on fifteen for a reason," Mega scoffed, "Hub it's a good age. And you're correct, Lan and you have been through a lot over the past few years. You see it as proof that Lan can handle your secret now, I see it as preparation. All the challenges you've faced together has taught him the power of choice and consequence. By this time next year he'll be as ready as he possibly can be. Subconscious prodding or not Lan will never ask you if you're Hub; no matter what uncanny similarities he may see. He saw you die son. The nurses had to pull him away from your bed. I know it's hard but you just have to hold on, the year will pass quicker than you think."

Mega quietly pondered his father's words. "Why'd you do it?" he finally asked.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Hikari questioned, afraid his son was questioning why a father would do anything, even the extreme to save his child.

"This morning," Mega continued allaying his fathers fears, "when I woke up you had already activated the materialization program but I wasn't in my jumpsuit." He chuckled, "I was in pajamas. What if Lan had woken up?"

"You and I both know there was very little chance of that."

"So why then?"

"I thought you needed it." Yuichiro smiled sadly, one that eerily mirrored the expression Hub had given his brother earlier. "You've been Megaman EXE for so long I felt you needed a reminder that Hub Hikari's still in there too." He put his hand on his son's shoulder in reassurance. "I know you're not particularly convinced of it now but everything will work out. You just have to trust me. Everything will be okay."

Dr. Hikari hugged him then. Mega had to admit he wasn't in the mood and he could have easily broken free but he remained in the embrace. As frustrated as he was he found he needed it.

* * *

 _Trust me, everything will be okay._ The words echoed through Mega's head as he sat down on the staircase that led back to Lan's room. He was not okay. Seeing himself as Hub had had just as much of an impact on himself as it had on Lan.

In the beginning he had been alright with the charade because it meant he was back with his brother, but the feeling hadn't lasted. He hated the lying and he found it much easier to slide into the Megaman persona; to just forget about Hub for a while but he could never fully commit. Every time Lan got in trouble Mega always responded as he should, as a brother. From Lan's perspective it was a very odd quirk. One that was explained away by their father as his programming choice. But it left Mega in a constant state of limbo balancing his existence as a internet navigator with the truth that he was Hub Hikari.

Waking up that morning to a human appearance had been nothing short of a hard reset. His dad was right, he had needed it. The truth was even though he had to live as Megaman EXE painful as it may have been sometimes he was always Hub Hikari; that was never going to change. He just needed to find the strength to hold on for the next year. He owed it to himself; he owed it to Lan.

"Zenny for your thoughts."

Mega jumped, the words startling him until he discovered their source. He smiled, "Mom."

Haruka laughed a little, "It's been a long day hasn't it sweetheart?" she queried as she sat down next to her son hesitating for just a moment with a raised hand before running it through his hair, cupping the side of his face and stroking his cheek with her thumb. She released a shaky sigh of gratitude, "We're going to have to thank Terra one day. She's reunited our family."

Mega turned slightly looking to the first room to the right at the top of the stairs, "Has she really?"

"Ohh, I know it's hard sweetie; I don't like it any more than you do but it really is for the best." Haruka watched as Mega's eyes remained on his brother's doorway; sadness evident. "You regret something?"

"I had a chance to end the lies this morning. I didn't take it." Mega said as he thought back to how this day had started.

 _When he woke up it hadn't taken him long to discover that something wasn't right, or at the very least off. First of all he woke up on the floor which was odd enough but it was the next few things he noticed that truly alarmed him. What should have been the cold ground of a net space was carpet instead. Next he saw his hands were bare and then his feet; his whole bodysuit was gone replaced by pajamas. Confused he put his hand to his head and instead of feeling the cool smooth surface of his helmet his fingers sunk into thick hair. At that his whole body went cold and his heart pounded loudly in his ears; taking in his surroundings his shock only mounted. There were clothes all over floor, soccer posters on the wall and the desk was a mess with the PC and PET charger barely peeking out from underneath a pile of disorganized papers._

 _This was Lan's room._

 _Finally having gained his bearings he slowly turned around meeting his own reflection. Mega let out a long shuddering breath; the image that was staring back at him was of an identity long since buried. Hub Hikari. Green eyes, navy hair, five feet seven inches; no visible evidence that he was pixels and programs as opposed to flesh and blood. That he could feel, the artificialness, so this was no dream; in all of those he was human. Then his attention turned to something else; the still form in the bed behind him._

 _"Lan," the name escaping the navi hushed as he walked over to his operator; his brother. He didn't understand what was going on. Reaching over he was just about to grab hold of his twins shoulder when he stoped. Should he? It would be so easy. Mega thought about what would follow. To be honest he wasn't exactly sure; there were more than a few possible scenarios and they all started with the younger sibling screaming. However a promise echoed in his mind as well. The promise that Lan wouldn't be told his net navi was more than a living memorial; not until his fifteenth birthday. Their fifteenth birthday._

 _Mega was paralyzed then; caught between his options. It wasn't as if he'd be punished for telling the truth, though he might risk his father's disappointment. But who's disappointment would cut deeper? His father's or Lan's?_

 _"Ummmgph..." the groan interrupted Mega's quandary as Lan began to stir, his choice in the situation would mean little if Lan were to wake up right here and now. So he left his fate in his brother's hands. If he woke up the truth would come out, if he didn't; fifteen it was. After a few tense moments Lan became still again drifting back into a deep sleep._

 _Mega straightened up, it would seem the disappointment was his. Quietly he walked over to the desk and took the PET out of its charger clumsily fumbling with the devise until he found what he was looking for. He glanced back once more at his reflection in the mirror as Hub Hikari disappeared; replaced with Megaman EXE._

"I was right there. All I had to do was wake Lan up and let nature take its course. The lying would have been over; but I didn't, I missed my chance. I just want him to know that even though I'm a navi now he never lost his brother. I never left."

"Ohhh, ...sweetheart," Haruka sighed as she began running her hand through Hub's hair again; that was until he caught it. Gently he pulled it out and held it for a minute tracing around her delicate fingers. After kissing her on the forehead he stood up.

"Goodnight Mom," he said as he went up the stairs back to Lan's room. His brother was still asleep, he hadn't even changed positions. The clothes were still on the floor, the mess of papers still on the desk; this day had finally come full circle. Mega sat down back against the wall and watched Lan as he slept; as he had countless nights before.

"I know you can't hear me but I need to say this to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you; for putting you through this. But I'm here Lan..."

"I'm still here."


End file.
